Ode to my sister's 1998 Honda Prelude 5 speed

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem) 01/03/2017 at 14:10 • Filed to: None

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Let’s set the stage here. My eldest sister is what we all like to call “difficult” she places herself into bad situations or manufactures them if none are existing. We see her once or twice a year and we’re all happier for it. She married a man who is a functional alcoholic and about as sharp as bag of wet mice. He seems an ok chap if you can catch him at a sober time and you don’t have anything complex to discuss with him.

My BIL bought my sister a 1998 Honda Prelude for her for their wedding anniversary. It is silver. It has 143k miles, an aftermarket shift nob, AEM cold air intake, a little surface rust, 3 shades of silver, and the wheels are painted black. He said he talked the guy down to $1500 and put another $500 into it in brakes, tires and what nots.

My sister was in her 30's when this car was new and it still looks like it belongs in a highschool parking lot with a stupid wing, neons and a tribal sticker.

BIL wants to trick it out with a stupid wing, neons and a tribal sticker, but she’d rather it be one shade of silver. She’s a leadfoot. We are a long line of leadfoots, but she has the rap sheet to prove it. Don’t want to attract too much attention if you have those kinds of tendencies.

So I’m at Christmas and I see a Prelude in my mom’s driveway and I’m confused. Who came in that? I interrogated my family until I found out who’s car it was.

Being a car guy I wanted to see and touch this new addition to the line of cars my sister has/will get pulled over in and ultimately crash into something. Their last purchase was the cleanest second gen Stratus I had ever seen. Guess what? That had not gone well for them.

My BIL is already drunk and it’s 11am Christmas day. He says after lunch we’ll go for a drive . I’m pretty sure the winks are implying that he’ll want to smoke some drugs with me. My wife also interprets it in that way and I assure her I’ll just be driving.

BIL has informed me the car has an 8 cam and is pushing 600hp. Later this becomes 500hp but it still has an 8 cam ... whatever that means.

Anyways. The car was fun to drive. The pedals feel great, the shifter is fun to roll your own, redline is just absurd and whenever v-tec kicked in I was just like “Yo!” We drive around for a bit while BIL drank beer and told me how much he loved everyone and everything. I told him he needs to drink less especially on Christmas day around all the children.

Driving around with me excited BIL so much he wouldn’t stop talking about how much I loved the car and V-tec and how much I would hate my car. He couldn’t stop bragging about his 8 cam and how much hp that car put out. It really annoyed everyone, but mostly it annoyed my sister.

So I’ve decided to be friends with my annoying, drunk BIL mostly to make my sister upset.

Seriously though ... dafuq is an 8 cam?

S65 > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 14:14

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8 FUCKING CAMSHAFTS

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 14:19

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8 cam is like four times better than twin cam.

interstate366, now In The Industry > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 14:19

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This is why I usually avoid other Prelude owners.

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 14:20

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...fun to roll your own.

Thought you said you were just driving. ;)

Also, 8 cam . Maybe it came with one to record your driving exploits?

WilliamsSW > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 14:22

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Seriously though how many HP does your butt dyno say it has? My guess is somewhere under 500...

No clue what an 8 cam is though, sorry.

E92M3 > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 14:24

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Wow.. my advice is to never get in a car with this gentleman again.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > S65 01/03/2017 at 14:26

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Yep, climb onto a new cam every 700 rpm, like you’re escalating up a giant bale of hay.

MonkeePuzzle > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 14:31

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if this was just the prelude to your story, I can’t wait to hear the rest!

TahoeSTi > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 14:34

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Sounds like ever honda owner I ’ve meet.

interstate366, now In The Industry > WilliamsSW 01/03/2017 at 14:37

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Probably 170 at the wheels on a good day.

WilliamsSW > interstate366, now In The Industry 01/03/2017 at 14:44

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Ooh, sounds like a Stage 3 tune, yo!

Hilarious story. Dudes like that can be a lot of fun, in VERY SMALL doses. Like about 2-3 hours per year.

TheHondaBro > S65 01/03/2017 at 14:50

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V24 engine?

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 14:52

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Curious, how many beers did he get in before noon?

CalzoneGolem > S65 01/03/2017 at 15:01

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That’s like 2 more camshafts than necessary imo.

CalzoneGolem > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 01/03/2017 at 15:01

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No wonder it was so good.

CalzoneGolem > interstate366, now In The Industry 01/03/2017 at 15:02

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But you’re different, right?

CalzoneGolem > Chariotoflove 01/03/2017 at 15:02

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I don’t think that’s what he was talking about.

CalzoneGolem > E92M3 01/03/2017 at 15:03

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This is solid life advice.

CalzoneGolem > MonkeePuzzle 01/03/2017 at 15:04

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I’ll tell you if we’re all of one Accord.

CalzoneGolem > TahoeSTi 01/03/2017 at 15:04

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Everone?

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 15:06

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I’m trying to be polite and give your new BFF the benefit of the doubt.

CalzoneGolem > Shamoononon drives like a farmer 01/03/2017 at 15:09

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Some say he had 10 beers.

Some say he was unable to Christmas.

All we know is ... he’s called the BIL.

CalzoneGolem > Chariotoflove 01/03/2017 at 15:22

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Thanks I really appreciate it.

MonkeePuzzle > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 15:22

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we are, it is your Civic duty to proceed

interstate366, now In The Industry > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 15:28

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For the most part, yeah. I take it on a back road session about once a week, where it’s in its element, but I’m pretty realistic about its power numbers. Even with a lightly modified, low mileage, higher compression engine, it *might* make 185 at the wheels.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > MonkeePuzzle 01/03/2017 at 15:37

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You’re out of your Element.

MonkeePuzzle > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 01/03/2017 at 15:50

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I C(rx) what you did there

TahoeSTi > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 17:35

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*Everyone that’s into the honda they drive. Not the basic commuters who barely know what tires are on their car.

Pyrochazm > CalzoneGolem 01/03/2017 at 22:28

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Man, everyone seems to have a borderline useless BIL. Mine is a recovering heroin addict and current deadbeat dad to my niece. I remember at one point he owed us 500, and every time he got a hold of money he spent it on video games, firearms or drugs. After seeing “Never back down” he was all about “MMA” and picked a fight with one if my friends at a party. D is a beast though and pretzled his dumb ass in front of everyone. I think the last straw for me was borrowing my car and running two traffic lights and leaving me with the tickets. I have no idea how my wife is so smart and beautiful and awesome yet her brother is such a scumbag.

CalzoneGolem > MonkeePuzzle 01/04/2017 at 07:46

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I like how you made that Fit.

CalzoneGolem > Pyrochazm 01/04/2017 at 07:50

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I feel fortunate that, while he is useless, it seems that there is no malice in him and that he actually cares to be a kinda father to my nephew.

CalzoneGolem > interstate366, now In The Industry 01/04/2017 at 07:51

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It was a fun drive but I don’t miss it when I get back into my Forester like BIL told me I would.

MonkeePuzzle > CalzoneGolem 01/04/2017 at 09:07

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you’re welcome. Now come on, I await the telling of your odyssey

CalzoneGolem > MonkeePuzzle 01/04/2017 at 09:17

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Ok. Ok. Don’t make a Ruckus.

MonkeePuzzle > CalzoneGolem 01/04/2017 at 09:38

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I’m just so Jazz-ed to hear your tale!

CalzoneGolem > MonkeePuzzle 01/04/2017 at 09:48

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I don’t know why ... it won’t provide you with any further Insight.

MonkeePuzzle > CalzoneGolem 01/04/2017 at 11:21

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why don’t you tell the whole story and let me decide if it is iNSX of what is necessary

CalzoneGolem > MonkeePuzzle 01/04/2017 at 11:33

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Well the most wonderful part of the trip was when I had to Pilot the car back up the Ridgeline that’s was when I could really rev the shit out of the car and experience that moment of Clarity when V-TEC kicked in.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > CalzoneGolem 01/04/2017 at 11:39

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I’m getting ready to Beat all of you senseless.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2017 at 11:52

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For the Life of me, I don’t know why you people are droning on and on about all this...